Remember

As far back as I can remember I’ve had a desire to be remembered. Remembered isn’t even the right word. Anyone can remember me; my name, my height, that time they ran into me on their bike, that time I ran into a tree on my bike, that time we took a bat to the vet because it had run into a bike. But these are just events, statistics, random facts that give insight into who I am around other people.

What I really want is for people to understand what is going on in my head. I want people to know me (I don’t want to say “as I really am” because the cliche is so dramatic and unnecessary) but I want them to know me beyond what they see. I want them to know how I think, how I process ideas and events, and above all, what I remember.

Memory is everything. Memory defines history. Memory creates our character. Memory decides how we live our lives. Anything that we have ever remembered shapes us in some way, whether we acknowledge it or not. It may affect us subconsciously, or it may be on the surface of our minds at all times, determining how we act, what we say, how we view people.

This blog is a humble attempt to cement my memories. It is futile, I know. Ultimately, everything will be gone, memory perhaps the first to go. But I’d like to think that somewhere along the line of my life, I will be able to look back on this blog and remember how I felt when I was twenty, or recall how I perceived an event that happened in high school while I was in college. I’ve noticed that as people grow older they certainly grow wiser, but their perspectives change, and with these changes comes a loss of ability to remember how one thought when they were younger. I think I fear that above all else; the loss of connection to the person I used to be. 

Hopefully, through this blog I’ll be able to prevent that.